Lately i can't shake this feeling that i have of constant emptiness... I feel that i lack substance to my life and have once again gone back to a droning routine that tires me just to think about.
I wonder why with all the beauty around me i seem to be blind?
I believe the answer is...
You won't ever really know...
But is that bad considering life in itself is a mystery, why are you born as oppose to any other one of those little swimmers. In part my heart feels that this emptiness comes from the lack of God in my life, yet why is it so hard to keep and maintain a relationship with him?
Coming form a strong Christian background but then losing my diligent practices i find myself trapped in a mental and perhaps spiritual labyrinth with no exit.
I question as to why maintaining such a relationship becomes a difficult task and why it seems to be true for not only God but many things in life. Keep on keeping on, what does that mean... do you just keep doing what you do even if there is no purpose anymore, or do you find purpose in just doing the things that you were doing?
AHHHHHH i know this all seems random and that is because my mind is random and i have a hard time organizing my thoughts but at least i can type them out.
At the end of the day i'm not trying to say i feel sad or lonely or depressed, but i do feel a type of emptiness that has yet to be filled and i hope one day it will be =0)
Until then Joy, Positivity, and Happiness!!!
Teen Spirit
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There's something about teenagers that disarms everyone around them. Just
yesterday, as I stood feeling my perspiration soak through my black dress
(I chos...
10 years ago
I know what you're feeling. There's that emptiness that can't be filled with anything but God. At times even when we cry out to God we don't seem to get the response we expect, the goodness He promises. But God is always good, Rom 8:28 says all things work together for good for those who love him. Does this mean it's always immediate? No. Sometimes God needs to prune us, to put us through the fire and refine us like gold. You feel stuck, but nobody is every stationary...always moving up or down. And like going upwards any hill, it's hard and you just wish you could reach the end already. There was a time where I felt spiritually dead, which I thought was crazy because I never really strayed...always went to church...always paid attention, always believed since I was about 10. And yet I couldn't understand why my friend (who had backslided and renounced God but then turned back to Him later on in life) was so on fire for God, when I was here obeying regularly and I felt spiritually dead. I related to the prodigal son's brother!But God was still there, working in me. It took a long time, but God calmed my heart.
ReplyDeleteKnow that if you have the grace to even acknowledge you're "spiritually empty" then you can't be spiritually empty..there's still some left there. So thank God for that. And then wait on Him. He'll fill you in His own time. This is the uphill battle, and if what you're doing is striving to cling to God's word, then yes, keep on keepin on. Maybe He's telling you to wait to show you you can't do it on your own, that you have to be patient. That emptiness is good, because it causes us to cry out to God, to run to Him because we realize how weak we are on our own. And He'll answer for sure. When He decides to calm our hearts, then we'll appreciate it so much more because we know what it's like to not have it.
I wrote about enduring trials on my blog, so hopefully that helps. Praying for you palito!
maybe the best way in this situation is to just dive in. hold a conversation with god. it's not a sort of metaphor or anything, but just hold a conversation with him. a simple reality of the fact is that maybe we all need a reminder of where we stand in all this.
ReplyDeletethe universe is big and much of it empty. but that doesn't mean you need to trek through it alone